


Toxic

by orphan_account



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Canon-typical violence but with more emotions, Gavin is abusive, Hiding Injuries, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Relationships, Victim Blaming, connor is hurt, gavin doesn’t take rejection well lmao, hank is a concerned dad, im so sorry, please help Connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-10 16:43:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15295755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: (Post pacifist ending)Connor comes back to the Dpd only to find Gavin has taken an interest in him. They end up starting a relationship that Connor seriously regrets.(Aka Connor and Gavin are in an abusive relationship, Connor being the victim in the situation)TW FOR SCENES OF ABUSE!





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES OF ABUSE (mostly physical and verbal)

Six months had passed since the android revolution, led peacefully by Markus. Many would say the after-effects were short lived compared to other rights movements, laws taking effect less than a year from when the revolution was won, but it still felt like an eternity to Connor. Governmental complications had rendered him unable to work at the Detroit police department until new laws were made. Connor constantly felt a weird itch in him, the desire to do something more than walk Sumo during the day. He new recognized that desire as restlessness. On the bright side, his leave had given him ample time to figure out how to deal with new emotions and the guilt of what he had done to androids during his pre-deviancy days. Luckily, Hank helped him cope. 

Connor couldn’t begin to express how lucky he was to have Hank. The man had offered him a place to stay until things were sorted after finding out about his less than favourable living conditions. Connor didn’t see any harm in the small space he lived in, it was just big enough to shelter him while he was in standby. He expressed this opinion to Hank, but didn’t argue further after he insisted. Connor found he feeling strange back then, but now he knew that the completely normal compassion a son feels for a father was truly what had led him to give in so easily. He liked the idea of staying with Hank, especially since he wouldn’t be able to see him often due to his “leave”. It also gave him the opportunity to help Hank into a healthier mindset and diet, something Connor wasted no time in doing.

Hank didn’t appreciate that very much. 

Hank also didn’t appreciate being woken up at 7:00am for work, which was clearly demonstrated this morning.

“Jesus fucking Christ, can’t you let a man sleep?” Hank muttered to himself. Connor smiled softly as he stood beside Hank’s bed. 

“Sorry, lieutenant. We have to go in to work this morning, and I’m sure Capitan Fowler would prefer us to be on time.” Connor responded. “I would also like to make a good impression for my first day back,” He finished sheepishly. Hank sat up at this.

“Alright, kid. Fine. And I told ya to call me Hank.” Hank grumbled, running a hand over his face. 

“Understood, Hank. My apologies.” 

“Don’t have’ta be so formal either.”

“Noted.”

…

The car ride to the department was quiet. Although Connor wouldn’t admit it, he was quite nervous for his first official day back at the Dpd. Fowler was being generous by letting him come back, and he really didn’t want to mess everything up. Connor truly loved his job. He had however, set new boundaries for it. After the guilt over his pre-deviancy actions had crashed down on him, Connor was forced to re-evaluate his priorities. He set a series of ground rules for himself that he would follow under any and all conditions, assuming nobody is in serious danger.  
1\. Harm will never come to humans or deviants if he can prevent it, and it will especially not come from him.  
2\. He will treat deviants and humans with the upmost respect.  
3\. If ever presented the opportunity to apprehend a suspect or save a life, he must always save the life in question. 

As long as he followed these rules, he’d be fine. He had to be. He kept telling himself that, and yet it did nothing to bring down his 35% stress level. Connor huffed an unnecessary breath from the passenger seat and quickly set an objective for himself. 

Objective: do not hurt anyone. 

There. It would always be in the back of his mind this way. He could never forget his primary mission, no matter what. Connor smiled softly. Stress level: 25%. 

…

Connor wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t what he got. As soon as he set foot into the department, people stood and clapped. Connor just stood there. He was in a state of what most people would call “shock” or “surprise”. Hank was able to get his bearings first.

“Looks like they missed ya,” He said. Connor smiled and gave a small wave to the department before finally moving towards his old desk. It felt quite bare compared to everyone else’s, which were decorated with trinkets and personal items, and Connor felt the strange desire to personalize it. He supposed he could always do that later. 

Connor mentally opened a file Fowler had just sent him, it was his first case as an official officer. 

A human man was found dead in his apartment at 8:00pm by the building owner, who had entered after a noise complaint had been filed at 6:00pm.   
(Possible time of attack?)  
He would have to go to the scene to be sure. 

Connor was brought out of his analysis of the file by a grumble from Hank. He looked over to see the man staring into an empty coffee mug. 

“Do you require more coffee, lieutenant?” Connor asked. 

“What did I tell you this morning about calling me that?”

“This is a work environment, and I think it would be better for me to act professionally.” 

“Fine, whatever.” 

“Do you want more coffee?” Connor asked again. 

“You don’t have’ta get me anything, Connor.” Hank responded.

“I know, but I would prefer to.” 

“Fine.”

Connor stood, grabbed Hank’s empty mug, and set off towards the break room. Making Hank coffee was something Connor had done before, so it was easy to prepare. Connor grabbed the coffee mug from the counter after he was done, but did it too fast. A bit of the coffee flew from the cup and onto the cuff of Connor’s sleeve. Connor frowned and resisted the human urge to drop the cup. The coffee certainly burned, but he wouldn’t let go of the mug. He didn’t want to break it. Connor quickly left the break room and handed the coffee to Hank, who muttered a Thanks. Connor smiled in return and made his way to the washrooms. Hopefully he could remove some of the coffee stain from his sleeve. 

Connor scrubbed at his shirt restlessly, but it was starting to look hopeless. Connor sighed and retreated his arm from the sink. Oh well. That was when he heard the door open.

“Hey, plastic.” 

Gavin. Connor froze. He was one thing he truly hadn’t been looking forward to today. 

“Hello, Detective Reed.” Connor said, turning to Gavin. Gavin had a very strange smirk on his face as he approached Connor. Connor didn’t know how to interpret it, so he just backed up until he felt his back hit the wall. 

Objective: do not hurt anyone.

Right. Connor couldn’t hurt Gavin. No matter what he did. Perhaps he could defuse the situation.

“Detective, do you need something?” Connor asked. Gavin stopped approaching him. They were still jarringly close, though. 

“Just wanted to talk,” Gavin murmured. This was odd. Gavin never spoke like this. 

Stress levels: 36%. 

“About what?” Connor asked. His LED was spinning yellow.

“I just thought you should know I’ve turned a new leaf. I don’t hate ya anymore. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.” Gavin continued. He stepped a little closer. Connor gulped. 

“I see,” He said quietly. Gavin took another step. They were almost touching now.

“Detective, may I ask that you please step away so I can return to-“ Connor was cut off as Gavin grabbed Connor’s wrist and pushed it up against the wall beside his head. Everything happened all at once, and suddenly Gavin’s lips were against Connor’s. Connor froze. His synthetic muscles tensed. His LED flickered. Gavin stayed there for a moment before pulling back and releasing Connor’s wrist. Connor stared at Gavin in shock as he winked and placed a small piece of paper in Connor’s hand. Connor just stood there as Gavin left. 

No matter how hard he tried to make sense of the events that had just occurred, they seemed illogical. How had Gavin, the android hater, come to like Connor? Especially in that way. Connor gingerly touched his lips. It was very strange indeed. Slowly, he un-crumpled the piece of paper Gavin had handed him. After a brief analysis, he found it out it was Gavin’s phone number. 

Oh. 

Connor saved the number in his memory and put the piece of paper in his pocket. After a momentary pause, he finally forced his feet to move and left the bathroom. It was very hard to focus on work after that. 

…

“Connor, is something up? Your LED’s been yellow for 20 fuckin’ minutes.” Hank asked as the two walked to his car after work. Connor frowned, reaching up to touch his LED. 

“I’m in full working order. I am just...” Connor trailed off before speaking again. “...Confused.” Hank rose an eyebrow as they got into the car.

“You’re confused? ‘Bout what?” He asked. Connor paused.

“Detective Reed,” he answered. Hank frowned, starting the car up.

“What did the asshole do now? I swear I’m gonna-“ 

“That won’t be necessary, Hank. He didn’t harm me in any way.” Connor cut Hank off before he finished. 

“Then what the fuck did he do?” Hank muttered, eyes locked on the road. Connor hesitated.

“We had a strange encounter in the washrooms. He told me he had turned over a “new leaf”, and...” Connor hesitated again. He reached into his pocket to fiddle with his quarter, only to touch the phone number Gavin had given him.

“He kissed me and gave me a piece of paper with his phone number on it,” Connor whispered quickly. Hank slammed the breaks on his car. Connor jolted forwards, but didn’t injure himself. Luckily, there were no cars behind him.

“HE WHAT?!” Hank yelled angrily. Connor rubbed his neck.

“Uhm, it’s not a problem, Hank. I assure you, it’s fine.” Connor said awkwardly. A long pause ensued where Hank just blinked in shock and anger for a couple minutes. 

“We should probably continue driving, Hank.” Connor said quietly. Hank blinked once more and put pressure on the gas pedal. 

“So you’re telling me fucking GAVIN REED kissed you?” Hank asked. Connor nodded.

“I can see why you’re confused,” Hank muttered, shaking his head. Connor nodded.

“How am I supposed to proceed from here? I wasn’t programmed with this type of situation in mind.” Connor asked. 

“Son, you’re deviant. You’ve been deviant for six fucking months. Your programming doesn’t even matter anymore.” Hank responded. “And I have no fuckin’ clue “how to proceed” after this. Just... do what you want, I guess? But be careful.” Connor nodded.

“Thanks, Hank.” He said. Hank smiled a little.

“No problem, son.” 

…

What did Connor want? He had been pondering that for much longer than he probably needed to. He was still quite new to actually wanting things, so it was hard to come up with an answer to the question. Connor sat down on his bed, LED flickering. (His room, the one that had previously been Cole’s, was given to him by Hank after a few days of charging on the couch, which was the android equivalent of sleeping. Connor was hesitant, afraid it would upset Hank, but he insisted. Connor guessed that packing up Cole’s room was a key part in Hank truly accepting he was gone. It probably helped him receive closure of some sorts.) Connor had no clue how to proceed with his relationship with Gavin. Should he kindly turn Gavin down, or perhaps give a romantic relationship a shot? Would keeping their bond platonic affect Gavin in any way? 

Objective: do not hurt anyone. 

His mission flashed at the edges of his vision. Connor sighed. Giving Gavin a shot couldn’t hurt, right? 

Could it?


	2. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time passes and Connor is in a relationship with Gavin. He doesn’t see it working out and goes to tell Gavin, who is less than thrilled. 
> 
> TW FOR ABUSE (physical and verbal)

Three weeks. Three wonderful weeks full of dates to bookstores and gardens, full of passion and cheer. For Connor’s first relationship, it was going well. 

Gavin and Connor had gotten together a week after the kiss. Gavin seemed to have done a complete 180 in terms of personality. He had gone from one of the rudest people Connor knew to an absolute angel.

It was actually quite unsettling. 

That was one of the reasons Connor had to break it off. The relationship didn’t feel real, even if it was good. And, if he was being totally honest, Connor didn’t have the same intense feelings for Gavin that Gavin seemed to have for him. It didn’t seem fair to Gavin. 

Connor took a deep breath outside of Gavin’s apartment. Today was the day he would break up with Gavin. It would only get harder the longer he waited. Connor only hoped Gavin would take it well. 

Knock knock knock The door opened. Gavin broke into a smile the second he saw Connor. 

“Heeey, Connor. What a nice surprise! Come in.” Gavin said, stepping back to let Connor enter. Connor fiddled with his quarter in his pocket, something he usually did to relieve stress. 

“So what do I owe the pleasure?” Gavin asked happily. Another thing that felt fake. Connor looked at the ground.

“Gavin, I would like to talk.” Connor said. Gavin’s smile wavered. He sat down on the grey sofa in the middle of the room and patted the space beside him.

“Sit,” he instructed. Connor noticed his voice had dropped a couple octaves. Odd. Despite that, Connor obliged. 

“So Connor..” Gavin began, placing a hand on Connor’s thigh. “What is it?” Connor took a deep breath. It was now or never.

“I have come to a conclusion regarding our relationship. I-I think it would be best if we...” Connor trailed off as he caught Gavin’s eye. The warmth that he had seen ever present in them for the past three weeks was gone. A look of pure hurt and anger was all that was left. 

“Are you thinking of breaking up with me?” Gavin’s voice was terrifying. Something deep and threatening came from the tone he used. Connor gulped.

“Yes,” He whispered. The pause afterward was almost unbearable. Suddenly Gavin’s hand tightened on Connor’s leg. He squeezed to the point where it was painful. Connor made a small whimpering noise in the back of his throat as he tried to pull away. It didn’t work.

“Gavin, please let go, that hurts-“

“Shut up, plastic.” Connor gasped as Gavin’s grip got even tighter. It had been a long time since he had used that tone, that nickname.

“I’m sorry, Gavin, I didn’t mean to hurt you-“ 

“LAIR!” Gavin yelled suddenly. Connor slammed his mouth shut.

Stress levels: 55%. 

Gavin released Connor’s leg and stood suddenly, making deadly eye contact and pacing around the couch. Connor made an attempt to stand, but it was cut off by Gavin.

“Don’t you fucking move, you plastic prick.” His tone was deadly serious, and definitely enough to halt Connor. A long pause ensued. Connor didn’t want to admit it, but he was afraid. He hadn’t been afraid in a long time. He didn’t like it.

“I gave you everything, Connor. More than an android like you EVER deserved. I treated you like a person. I thought that maybe, maybe, you could love me the way I loved you. But you can’t feel love, can you?” Gavin kneeled by Connor’s face. “You’re just a fucking machine.” Connor flinched. 

“Don’t give me that look! You’re not hurt, you’re not offended. You can’t feel those emotions. Not the way I can.” Gavin snapped. 

“I’m sorry,” Connor whispered. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you-“ 

“SHUT UP!” Gavin yelled again. Connor tensed. “You’re lying. You did want to hurt me, didn’t you? You fucking android. I should’ve known to never give you a chance. Machines never change.” Connor swallowed.

Stress levels: 70%.

Gavin grabbed Connor’s wrist roughly. Connor tried to flinch away, but that only made Gavin tighten his grip. Gavin yanked Connor to his feet before tossing him to the ground. Connor gasped.

Biocomponent #2005 has been damaged. Bruises may form on skin. Please enter stasis to self-repair. 

Connor closed the pop up and tried to stand, only to feel a boot on his back pushing him back down.

“Don’t fucking move.” 

Stress levels: 75%. 

Connor was yanked roughly to his feet again, this time by the neck. Gavin dragged a sputtering Connor over to his kitchen. He slammed Connor’s head against the corner of his counter, earning a pained scream from Connor and a splatter of thirium. Gavin laughed. 

“You can’t feel pain, you’re just faking. Still, I love the sound you make when you imitate it. I wanna hear it more.” Gavin growled, tossing Connor to the ground again. 

Boicomponents #3365, 6988, And 4552 have been damaged. Please enter stasis to self repair.

Connor closed the pop up again, but it had obscured his vision long enough to prevent him from finding some way out of this. Gavin’s boot was suddenly on Connor’s neck, and despite him not needing to breathe, he still felt like he was choking. Connor gasped and gasped and clawed at Gavin’s boot and tried to escape but he couldn’t and he was scared and it was too much-

“You gonna defend yourself or what, prick? I know you can.” Gavin hissed. 

Objective: do not hurt anyone. 

Connor saw static at the edges of his vision. The pain was becoming unbearable. Gavin chuckled and moved his boot, leaving Connor gasping. He didn’t even let him take two breaths before yanking him to his feet once more. Gavin pulled Connor close using his tie, so they were almost nose to nose.

“I don’t wanna hear any more breakup talk, alright? You’re fucking lucky to have me.” Gavin growled. He dropped Connor to the ground.

“And if you tell anyone about this, it’ll be twice as bad next time.” 

Next time. Even the words made Connor afraid. 

“Now clean yourself up and get the fuck into my room. We’re gonna cuddle.” Gavin snapped. Connor whimpered and nodded. He waited for Gavin to leave his sight before standing. Connor’s whole body was shaking, his LED a consistent red. 

Stress levels: 80%. 

Connor limped his way to Gavin’s washroom and looked in the mirror. He had dark purplish bruising around his throat and a gash leaking thirium on his forehead. His hair was also messy and his eyes were blown wide. He didn’t look okay. He didn’t look like Connor. 

Connor found himself wanting to hide this. He didn’t want people to see him like this, to see him vulnerable. Connor used a tissue to wipe thirium away from his head wound. It was still bleeding a little, which panicked Connor. Gavin wanted him cleaned up. Blood wasn’t clean. Connor whimpered and wiped at his head more. The wound eventually stopped bleeding, which relieved Connor more than he thought possible. The pain was still there, though. The pain was everywhere. Connor wrapped his arms around himself protectively. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to be okay. He tried to push down the rising tide of emotions he was starting to feel. It would only make things worse. 

Connor swallowed thickly. He had to go to Gavin. Gavin would be mad if he didn’t. Connor quickly fixed his hair and wiped his face with a towel. He was still shaking and his LED was still red, but otherwise he looked okay. At least as okay as he could possibly look under the circumstances.

Connor walked quietly into Gavin’s room, only to find the man already looked asleep. Should he still obey his orders, or leave him be? Connor paused for a moment to think before deciding to obey the original command. Connor attempted to crawl into the bed beside Gavin, only to be roughly pushed off.

“Don’t touch me, plastic. Sleep on the floor.” Gavin mumbled. Even with his slurred and tired speech, he was able to scare Connor. Connor nodded and laid down on the ground. The carpet of Gavin’s bedroom was rough and uncomfortable by human standards, probably from spilled drinks that had never been properly cleaned out of it. At least Connor was a machine, and was able to slip into stasis under almost any circumstance. 

He did exactly that.


	3. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor returns to work the next morning, only to be met by a displeased and concerned Hank.

“Get the fuck up, prick.” 

Connor scrambled up as a boot knocked him roughly in the side. Gavin stood in front of him, frowning. Even his eyes alone could make Connor shake. He was going to hurt him, wasn’t he? Connor swallowed and prepared for the worst.

“Can you cook?” He asked. Connor blinked. He hadn’t expected that.

“Yes. After my deviancy, I downloaded 200 recipes into my database that I can replicate.” Connor responded. His voice sounded a little staticky, probably from the damage done to it last night.

Last night...

Connor shuddered as he thought about it.

“Make me breakfast, dipshit.” Gavin hissed. Connor nodded and scampered off to do just that. 

Connor winced as he detected traces of evaporated thirium, his own thirium, on the edge of Gavin’s counter. He tried to ignore it as he prepared eggs and bacon with shaking hands. He prayed to ra9 that Gavin would enjoy it.

Thank god he did. 

That morning managed to pass without any violent confrontation. Connor was glad. Gavin also ended up offering to drive Connor to work, something Connor wouldn’t have expected after the events of yesterday. It was a very tense car ride, Connor’s stress levels never going below 40%, but he was more afraid of what could’ve happened if he had declined. 

He was also afraid of what his coworkers would say about his neck. 

Connor had actually managed to hide it pretty well with a scarf, but he still feared something would happen and go wrong. He was especially afraid of Hank finding out. 

Hank. Oh god, Hank had no idea why Connor hadn’t come home last night. He was probably concerned. Connor frowned to himself. He felt guilty. He should have called to let him know he was staying at Gavin’s. He should have done something. Connor swallowed, already forming an apology in his mind.

…

As predicted, Hank had been worried. As soon as Connor walked into the office with Gavin, he stood and walked over to him. Connor could tell Hank wasn’t pleased. His steps faltered.

Stress levels: 45%.

“Connor! What the hell! You say you’re only gonna be out for a couple hours at most, and then you don’t come home?! And you let all my calls go unanswered?! I thought you’d died or something!” Hank shouted, attracting the attention of some fellow officers. Connor flinched slightly.

“I-I’m so-“ 

“Don’t talk to my boyfriend like that, Anderson.” Gavin suddenly cut in, grabbing hold of Connor’s hand. Connor’s eye widened in surprise. Gavin was defending him? Why? Hank seemed confused as well, but for another reason.

“Since when do you stutter, Connor? And why is your voice all staticky?” Hank asked. His annoyed expression now showed even more concern than before.

“My apologies, Hank. I damaged my voice box last night when-“ Connor paused as Gavin squeezed his hand. 

“And if you tell anyone about this, it’ll be twice as bad next time.” Gavin’s voice replayed in Connor’s mind and he swallowed thickly.

“When I attempted to eat food. I was being irrational and thought I could perhaps try popcorn, but some became lodged near my voice box. It was my fault.” Connor lied. Gavin loosened his tight grip on Connor’s hand. He had done well. Hank still looked sceptical, but didn’t push it any further. 

“Okay, Son. Just get that fixed soon, it’s weird.” Hank muttered. Connor nodded. Hank walked back to his desk. Connor moved to follow, but was stopped when Gavin quickly kissed his cheek. 

“Yeah, get that fixed soon, love.” Gavin murmured just loud enough for the people around them to hear. Connor swallowed and nodded. Gavin gave Connor’s hand one last squeeze before letting go. Connor walked to his desk and was met by a disgusted Hank. 

“You two should do that shit in private, it’s disgusting.” Hank muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Gavin laughed sweetly as he passed by. Connor’s LED spun yellow. Why was Gavin so affectionate all of a sudden? Had he decided to be nice again? Connor really hoped so, but knew deep down it wasn’t true. 

…

“I meant to ask ya, why the fuck are you wearing a scarf? It’s 300 fucking degrees outside.” Hank asked Connor after a few hours of working. Connor’s hands froze on his keyboard. What would a logical excuse for the scarf be?

“I wanted to make a fashion statement,” Connor responded. Hank snorted and laughed, earning some attention from nearby officers. 

“You fucked up,” Hank wheezed. Connor smiled. At least Hank believed him.

“I guess I’m not very educated when it comes to dressing well,” Connor said sheepishly.

“No shit,” Hank grinned at him. Connor grinned back. 

“But really, take that thing off. You’re gonna overheat.” Hank continued. Connor’s smile fell, and he swore he could feel Gavin watching him. 

“No thanks. I like it.” Connor muttered. Hank frowned. Why was Connor avoiding eye contact? 

“You okay, son?” Hank asked. Connor froze, LED spinning yellow. He wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t. He should tell Hank, Hank could help, Hank could-

“Yes, I’m fine.” Connor said. Another lie. He hated it. Hank’s frown didn’t vanish, but he let the topic drop. The two worked in silence for the rest of the day. 

…

“You sure you’re fine?” Hank asked once Connor and himself were in the car driving home. Connor’s LED spun yellow.

“Yes, I am sure.” Connor said. 

“Wanna take off that scarf now? Nobody besides me is here to admire your “fashion statement” anymore.” Hank offered. Connor tensed. 

“No thank you. I would like to leave it on.” Connor replied. Hank raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re gonna overheat,”

“I’ll be fine.” 

“Connor, I swear-“

“I’m fine.” 

Connor’s harsh tone made Hank pause. Connor regretted using it. Hank was probably suspicious now. The rest of the car ride was quiet.

Once the pair got into their house, Hank ripped the scarf off of Connor. Connor yelped, hands immediately flying to his neck. Hank couldn’t see, he’d be mad at Connor for not protecting himself, Gavin would be mad at him for telling someone, everything would fall apart-

“Connor, what the hell?” Hank said, dumbfounded. “Your neck..” Hank reached up a hand to touch Connor’s bruises, but Connor flinched away.

“My apologies, Hank.” Connor muttered. Hank was definitely concerned now.

“How did you get those?” Hank said in a serious voice. Connor gulped. He couldn’t know. Gavin would be mad.

“I was confronted by anti android activists last night. They assaulted me, but please do not be concerned. I’m fine.” Connor said quietly. Another lie. At least it was one Hank seemed to believe.

“Is that how you really damaged your voice box thing?” Hank asked. Connor nodded weakly. More lies. 

“Fuck... I’m sorry, Connor.” Hank said. Connor frowned.

“It it not your fault, Hank.” Connor said. 

“Did you get the faces of those pricks? We could bring ‘em in for hurting you.” Hank offered, ignoring Connor’s comment. 

“They wore ski masks, I was unable to identify them.” Connor said. Hank sighed.

“Damn. I hope those fuckers get what they deserve.” Hank spat. His angry tone made Connor flinch a little.

“I would like to recharge, if that is okay. I feel...” Connor paused. “Drained.” Hank nodded.

“Yeah, go rest. Call if you need anything.” Hank gave Connor a pat on the back before letting him pass. Once Connor was inside his room, he finally let himself cry. Sobs wracked his body as he shook, his back against his wall. Everything hurt. His wrist, his head, his neck, all of it. Connor made sure to manually shut off his verbal output biocomponent so he wouldn’t make any sound. That way, Hank wouldn’t hear him as he cried his heart out. Hank wouldn’t hear a thing.


	4. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor tries to tell Hank. It doesn’t work out.
> 
> TW FOR PHYSICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to quickly say thanks for the comments and kudos! I really appreciate it <3

Work the next day was just as hard. Connor wanted to wear a scarf again, explaining to Hank that he didn’t want others to be concerned, and Hank reluctantly let him. 

Connor worked on his file slowly, finding himself unable to focus. Focusing was something that was becoming quite hard after his encounter with Gavin. Every single sound made him jump or flinch. If Hank had noticed, he hadn’t said anything. 

“Hey, Connor.” 

Connor jumped hard at the voice, looking up to see Chris. Chris looked concerned. Connor frowned. That was his fault.

“Woah, sorry for starling you. Never mind.” He said. Chris moved along and Connor sighed, trying to focus on work again. That didn’t last long. 

“Connor, come with me.” Hank instructed. Connor obeyed and followed Hank to the break room.

“What the fuck’s wrong? Everything is scaring you, and you were acting like a deer in headlights when Chris talked to ya.” Hank questioned. Connor gulped. 

“I’m sorry, Hank. I am just a little stressed over the case.” Connor lied.

“Bullshit. What’s really bothering you?” Hank asked. “Is it the anti-android pricks? How badly did they hurt you?” Connor paused. It wasn’t that because that was a LIE. LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE. The word blared in Connor’s head. He needed to tell Hank the truth. Maybe Hank could help. He had to believe that.

“Actually, it’s-“ 

“Connor! Can I talk to you for a moment outside? About our cases? I think they might be linked.” Gavin seemed to materialize in the doorway. Connor’s thirium ran cold. He had caught him. He had caught him trying to tell the truth and now he was going to pay. Hank blinked in frustration.

“Just give us a second, Gavin.” Hank said in irritation. Gavin glanced at Connor. It was a quick look, but managed to say so much. The key message being   
“Get your ass over here now”. Connor had to listen. He was more afraid of what would happen if he didn’t.

“It’s okay, Hank. I’ll go.” Connor whispered. He stepped past a confused Hank and met Gavin at the doorway. Gavin grabbed Connor’s hand and kissed him on the cheek as they walked outside. It was fake. Connor knew Gavin was mad. He was just pretending to be happy. 

Connor was right. Gavin let his cheerful facade drop as soon as he had gotten them alone in an alley. The gentle hold he had on Connor’s hand suddenly turned to a death grip. Connor whimpered.

“I’m sorry, Gavin. I promise I wasn’t-“ 

“Save your bullshit, plastic.” Gavin snarled. “You were gonna tell him.” Connor swallowed thickly. Gavin leaned in close to whisper in Connor’s ear.

“Do you remember what I said would happen if you told?” Gavin hissed. His tone was deadly. Venomous. Connor’s LED flashed red.

“Y-yes,” Connor whispered. “I remember.” 

“Then you know what comes next,” Gavin whispered darkly. He quickly shoved Connor to the ground. Connor yelped. He knew what Gavin was going to do. He should fight back, he should protect himself, but the idea of standing up to Gavin was terrifying. 

Objective: don’t hurt anyone. 

Right. That too.

Instead, Connor scrambled backwards away from Gavin, holding hands up to block his face. Gavin used his as the perfect opportunity to kick Connor’s stomach. 

Boicomponents #5346 And #3321 have been damaged. 

Connor flopped to the side, curling in on himself. His whimpers of pain couldn’t be heard over the commotion of nearby traffic. Nobody would come to help him. The realization was terrifying.

Gavin continued his kicks until he drew blood. Connor let out a pained scream as he landed the final one, right to Connor’s nose. Connor felt thirium pour out of his nostrils and mouth, his scream ending in a choked gurgle. Gavin reached down and grabbed Connor by his hair. Connor felt his head slam against the dumpster in the alley. Once. Twice. Three times. Gavin smashed Connor’s skull against it until he felt he was going to be forced into stasis. He prayed that Gavin would stop. He begged him to do so.

“Gavin, please-“ Connor cut himself off with a scream as he was chucked to the ground once more. “Please stop!” 

“No fucking chance, You plastic prick. You deserve this.” Gavin snarled. He yanked Connor up again and pressed him against the alley wall. He pulled Connor’s head back and smashed it into the brick once before releasing and letting the android slide to the ground. Connor whimpered on the cold concrete, clutching his thirium coated head. Everything hurt. So many biocomponents had been damaged. 

“Gavin, please..n-no more! I promise I won’t tell anyone! Just please stop!” Connor begged through messy tears. Gavin laughed. Connor heard the distinct sound of a gun clicking and suddenly felt cold metal touch his back. Connor’s body froze up. No.

“I could shoot you. I could end it right now. I bet you wouldn’t even care, you fucking machine.” Gavin threatened. His voice was oddly nonchalant for someone who was threatening murder. It was somehow more scary than a serious tone. 

“Please don’t. P-please...” Connor gurgled though the blood in his mouth. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t he didn’t he didn’t- 

Gavin laughed again. 

“Promise me you’ll never tell anyone about what I do to you.” Gavin said.

“I promise.” 

“Good.” Connor felt the gun leave his back and felt instantly lighter. He wouldn’t die today. That was good, at least. 

“Now get up. We’re gonna act like we were jumped by some anti-android activists.” Gavin instructed. He used his nails to scratch his own face, just enough to draw blood. 

“I used that excuse on Lieutenant Anderson yesterday.” Connor said weakly. Gavin hissed through his teeth.

“We’ll say if was just the same fucking activists. Of course you would make things harder.” Gavin said the last bit as he gave Connor a little shove. It was definitely aggressive, but Connor didn’t fall. Gavin then roughly grabbed Connor’s arm and slung it over his shoulders. It was supposed to make it look like he was supporting him. How ironic. Gavin and Connor limped back to the precinct, Connor growing tired. He felt like he was going to enter stasis any second now. He would need to eventually, to repair some of the damage. 

“HELP!” Gavin screamed as soon as they entered the building. “CONNOR IS HURT!” People immediately shot into the lobby. Gavin set Connor down on the ground and rested his head in his lap. He looked concerned. It was fake. Connor’s vision started to blur as others, most notably Hank, came into view. It was suddenly very hard to hear too, as if Connor was under water. 

That was the last sensation he felt before being forced into stasis.


	5. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor wakes up at New Jericho in a panicked state.
> 
> TW FOR PANIC ATTACKS (sorta) AND VICTIM BLAMING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aah I know I said this before but thank you all so much for the comments and kudos! They really motivate me to keep updating this <3

Pain. 

Painpainpainpainpainpain. 

So much. 

Too much. 

He wanted it to stop.

He needed it to stop. 

Please, make it stop-

Connor’s eyes shot open and he frantically tried to push everyone away from him. They all looked like Gavin, they were all going to hurt him, he was going to die-

“Connor? Son, calm down! You’re safe!” Hank. If Hank was here, he was okay, right?

Connor took deep breaths as the world came into focus. He was okay. He was okay. 

Connor registered that he was in a bed, presumably at New Jericho, -which was the new headquarters for the Android branch of government-, if Markus’ presence was anything to go off of. 

The next thing he registered was pain. Connor’s sudden movements had caused his wounds to ache, specifically the ones on his head. Connor curled in on himself, making a small whimpering noise in the back of his throat. 

“Connor? Are you okay? Don’t worry, love. Everything is going to be fine.” Connor’s breath hitched in his throat. 

Gavin.

Gavin was here. Gavin was rubbing circles on his back. Gavin was going to hurt him.

Stress levels: 85%.

“Connor, your stress levels are very high. Are you okay?” Connor was sure his LED was flickering red.

“It hurts,” was all he managed to say. 

“Simon, can you go get another thirium packet? And these biocomponents?” Markus murmured. He seemed to mentally send Simon a list, and soon he was gone to accomplish the task. Connor hadn’t even noticed Simon was in the room to begin with.

“Connor, it’s going to be okay. I know it hurts, but I need you to relax,” Markus whispered soothingly. Connor felt Markus’ hand on his arm.

Stress levels: 80%. 

“O-okay,” Connor choked out. He felt Gavin’s hand leave his back as he lied down again. 

Stress levels: 60%.

Connor felt a lot better when Gavin wasn’t touching him. Connor’s muscles were still tense, but he did relax quite a bit. Especially when he felt Hank grab his hand. 

Hank was still here. Hank would protect him.

Stress levels: 50%. 

“Thank you, Connor. Do you feel a bit better?” Markus asked. Connor nodded. He felt better, but nowhere near okay. He needed to calm down more.

Connor tried focusing on breathing. While it was something he didn’t actually need to do, it still calmed him and made him feel more human. Hank used his thumb to rub circles on Connor’s palm. That helped too. Connor let his synthetic muscles relax a little, but not a lot. He still wanted to be able to run if he needed to. Despite the fact that he was here with potential witnesses, he didn’t feel safe with Gavin in the room. Even if he had the most concerned and sympathetic expression on his face...

“Connor, what happened to you?” Hank asked, his voice gentler than Connor had ever heard it. Connor opened his mouth, then closed it. He felt Gavin touch his other hand. A gentle reminder to watch what he said.

A gentle reminder to lie.

“Gavin and I were assaulted by anti-android activists,” Connor paused briefly. “The same ones from before, I suspect.” Hank frowned deeply.

“Did you fight back?” Markus asked.

“I was taken by surprise. I did not have enough time to react before-“ Connor choked up briefly. He hated this. He hated lying. Connor shuddered and continued, earning a concerned look from Hank. “-before I had sustained significant injury.” 

“I’m so sorry, Connor. I wish I had been able to protect you better. They were just so strong and I couldn’t get to you and-“ Gavin broke off his guilt-filled speech with a strangled sob. Connor’s breath hitched. Gavin looked like he really meant it. Connor knew it was fake. He knew it was another lie to hide the truth. 

It still stung to see how Gavin could’ve been. Maybe it was Connor’s fault he wasn’t so nice...

“I’m so sorry...” Gavin whispered. He had his head in his hands. He looked truly devastated. “I’ll make sure those pricks get what’s coming to them. Nobody hurts my fuckin’ boyfriend and gets away with it.” 

“It’s okay, Gavin.” Connor forced himself to say. The words stung. It wasn’t okay. It wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t-

Stress level: 60%.

“Connor, your stress levels are rising again-“ 

“May I be alone for a moment?” Connor asked suddenly. Everyone looked confused.

“Are you sure that’s the best idea-“ 

“Please.” Connor cut Markus off before he could finish. He felt bad about interrupting him, but he really did need to be alone. Connor was about to break down and he didn’t want anyone to see it. 

Reluctantly, Markus nodded.

“Please call if you need anything. We’ll be right outside.” He reassured. Connor nodded, his words stuck in his throat. Markus led Gavin and Hank outside, Hank being the most reluctant to go.

“We can’t leave him alone like this, it’s not-“

“Hank, please.” Connor voice trembled. Hank paused, looking very concerned. After a moment of hesitation, he let himself be led outside. 

Connor waited until the door had swung shut to start crying. 

He placed his head in his hands, waves of pain travelling up and down his body. He wanted it to stop. It was too much. Too much too much too much too much-

Connor heaved in and out in an attempt to calm himself. It didn’t work. He felt so worn down and defeated, especially after seeing the way Gavin acted. It was a cruel reminder of the man he once was, before Connor had tried to break up with him.

Oh, how he missed that man.

Suddenly, Connor was struck with a thought. Gavin hadn’t turned this way until after Connor had tried to leave him. Until after Connor had hurt him. That meant this was Connor’s fault, right? He was to blame for how Gavin was acting. Connor had hurt Gavin and he was reacting accordingly. Connor probably deserved this pain. No, not probably. He definitely did. 

An eye for an eye, as humans would phrase it. 

Connor just sobbed harder at the realization. He had no one to blame but himself for this. 

“Connor? You okay in there?” 

Hank. 

Connor willed himself to respond, but it was so hard to get his mouth to work, especially when his mind was screaming the same words over and over.

YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT

“Connor?” 

Hank again. Connor needed to get himself under control. It was only a matter of time before Hank forced his way into the room and saw Connor like this. 

Connor forced his breaths to slow, his body to stop trembling, and his head to move from his hands. He made himself calm down, and it was more exhausting than anything else Connor had done before. He felt as if he was breaking into pieces.

“I’m okay. You can come in now.” Connor finally responded. He quickly wiped synthetic tears from his face as Hank burst in, followed by Markus, Gavin, and Simon again.

“Oh son, you look like a fuckin’ mess.” Hank muttered, sitting on a chair beside Connor’s bed. Connor forced himself to smile.

“It just hurts,” he murmured.

“Connor, May I ask you slip into stasis? We need to replace your damaged biocomponents. You’ll feel much better afterwards!” Markus asked. Connor nodded.

“Okay. Thank you, Markus.” Connor said. He wasted no time in powering down, he didn’t want to be awake any more anyways.


	6. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor wakes up back at home. Hank and Gavin are both there, but then Hank has to go get Connor thirium. 
> 
> That leaves Connor alone with Gavin. Again.
> 
> TW FOR VERBAL ABUSE AND (more breif than the previous chapters) PHYSICAL ABUSE

Connor woke up approximately 5 hours and 30 minutes later in a different bed. It wasn’t an unfamiliar one, as it was his own bed back at Hank’s, so Connor welcomed the change. He no longer felt the agonizing waves of pain that had plagued him before he had entered stasis, which he also welcomed. He was glad he didn’t hurt anymore. For a moment, Connor was able to feel completely safe.

That peace was shattered a moment later. 

“C’mon, let me see him! He’s my boyfriend, I have the right!”

“And he’s MY son! You can see him when he’s awake!” 

Gavin and Hank were outside. Gavin and Hank were fighting. 

They were fighting because of him.

Connor stumbled out of bed, leaning against the wall for support. While he did feel better, Connor still wasn’t okay. He huffed an unnecessary breath before trying to walk again. 

“Hello,” Connor murmured as he pushed his door open. Hank and Gavin both stopped speaking and whipped around to face the android. 

“How are you feeling, son?” Hank said at the same time Gavin said “Do you feel okay, love?” Connor swallowed. He didn’t like the nickname Gavin used.

“I’m okay,” Connor responded. Hank and Gavin both smiled, but something about Gavin’s expression set Connor on edge.

Stress levels: 30%.

“I think I’m gonna go get groceries and more thirium for ya, or whatever. Gavin can take care of you while I’m out.” Hank announced, making his way to the door. 

Stress levels: 60%. 

Connor’s LED blinked red. He didn’t want to be alone with Gavin. He wouldn’t be safe, he could die, he could-

“May I join you? I want to stretch my legs, as you would put it.” Connor blurted, trying to keep fear from his tone.

“Connor, you’re leaning against that fucking wall like it’s he only thing keeping you up. Stay home.” Hank responded.

Stress levels: 70%. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” Gavin said with a smirk. Anyone else who saw his expression would think it was reassuring. Connor thought it was terrifying.

“I’ll be back in half an hour!” Hank called as he left. Connor’s hand shook as he waved goodbye. 

An awful silence stretched out for a few moments after Hank had left. Connor was afraid. Gavin was standing right in front of him. Gavin was looking at him, sizing him up, checking for places to punch and kick and-

“I’m fucking starving. Make me food, you plastic prick.” Gavin snarled suddenly, turning on his heel and stalking over to the couch. Connor really didn’t want to argue with him. He just wanted to obey and avoid conflict. But Connor was pretty sure he couldn’t walk properly when he was still this low in thirium, let alone prepare a meal. 

“I-I don’t think I can,” Connor whispered.

Another tense moment of silence.

“What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Say?!” Gavin spat, each word oozing more venom than the last. Gavin stood again and walked back over to Connor. Connor couldn’t help himself, he cowered. 

“My thirium levels are dangerously low. I don’t think I can walk properly,” Connor tried to explain. His shaky words were cut off when Gavin gave him a hard shove. Connor stumbled backwards and fell onto the ground with a thud. He felt Gavin kneel down beside him and yank his head off the ground by his hair. Connor whimpered.

“I gave you a fucking order. Now OBEY.” Gavin hissed. He dropped Connor’s head and stood, giving him one swift kick before going back to the living room. 

It took Connor nearly two minutes to get up again. 

Connor stumbled to the kitchen, hugging the walls. He was scared he wouldn’t be able to stand on his own. He hadn’t ingested any thirium since he was damaged the previous day, and his body was redirecting his thirium flow to essential biocomponents instead of, say, the ones that control balance. This would make cooking difficult.

“What would you like to eat?” Connor whispered. He didn’t trust himself to speak any louder without his voice shaking.

“I don’t fuckin’ know, just make something good!” Gavin shouted back. Connor flinched at his loud voice. 

Connor ran through all the recipes he knew in his head, searching for one he could make quickly and well. Mac and cheese? Connor prayed Gavin liked that kind of food. Connor’s whole body trembled as he got out the ingredients for the meal. He could barely stay upright. 

After falling over multiple times, in none of which Gavin helped him, Connor finished the food. He brought it to Gavin with shaking hands, only to be met with a disgusted glare. 

Oh no.

“Mac and cheese? Is that the best you can make, dipshit?” Gavin hissed. He quickly struck Connor on the face, causing him to fall and drop the meal. A loud crash sounded throughout the house, followed by barking. 

Sumo. 

Sumo was here. 

“Hey, What the- OW! FUCK! GET IT OFF!” 

Snarling noises, pained shouts from Gavin, and curses sounded around Connor. He couldn’t manage to open his eyes, his face stung too much, but he got the general idea of what was happening. Sumo was protecting him. It would’ve made Connor feel good, but his stress levels were too high for him to feel anything positive.

“CONNOR, YOU PLASTIC FUCK! GET IT OFF!” Gavin screeched.

“Sumo, down!” Connor managed to croak out. He repeated it a few times until the barking stopped. Connor still couldn’t bring himself to move, or open his eyes, or do anything. He just wanted everything to disappear. 

“Jesus fucking Christ...” Gavin muttered. “I’m leaving.” 

Footsteps. A door opening and closing. Silence. 

Connor was finally alone. 

Sumo sniffed Connor and nudged his face with his nose.

Well, almost alone.

Connor smiled and finally worked up the energy to open his eyes. The sight of Sumo there dropped Connor’s stress levels significantly, and he moved his hand from the bruise forming on his face to pet the dog. 

“Good boy,” Connor murmured over and over. He was glad Sumo had protected him, but he couldn’t help feeling guilty as well. What if Sumo had gotten hurt, all because Connor was too weak and afraid to defend himself? It wasn’t fair. Connor was just hurting others around him by simply existing. 

Maybe he could stop existing. 

No. 

He wouldn’t think about that right now. He had work to do. Hank would be home any second, and it was clear what had gone down. Connor forced himself to stand, wincing as a bolt of pain shot though his arm. He looked and noticed a bunch of shards from the shattered bowl had gotten stuck in his synthetic flesh when he’d fallen. The sight made Connor nauseous. 

Slowly, the android cleaned up the spilled food and bowl shards. It was a painful process, but eventually the home looked as if nothing had happened in it. 

Well, there was still a splotch of thirium on the ground from Connor’s arm and a cheesy spot on the floor from the noodles, but Connor just threw a rug over it. 

Then came the painful part. Connor stumbled to the bathroom to pick shards out of his arm. Connor bit back a scream as the first one came out. It was extremely painful, and there were five more to go. It made Connor want to cry. 

Slowly but surely, all the shards were removed from Connor’s arm. He was shaking violently by the end of it, tears streaming down his cheeks. Connor tightly wrapped a bandage around it to keep it from bleeding everywhere while it healed and prepared to exit. That was when a thought struck him. How would he explain Gavin’s absence? 

In a burst of quick thinking, Connor grabbed a post-it note from Hank’s drawer and wrote “had to leave, family emergency.” On it in Gavin’s handwriting. He had been around the man enough times to be able to replicate it. 

Connor stumbled into his room and placed the note on the nightstand beside his bed before flopping down. He was so tired and worn out. Everything hurt. He wanted it to go away. He wanted it to stop. He wanted EVERYTHING to stop. But it never would, would it? Gavin was never going to stop hitting him. Connor was never going to stop deserving it. Just as Connor thought he was going to cry again, Sumo trotted in and curled up beside him on the bed. Connor smiled shakily. Sumo always made things better.

Connor slipped back into stasis just as Hank returned home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this chapter! If you can’t tell by this point, I really don’t like Gavin haha


	7. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months have gone by. Two months of Connor suffering.
> 
> TW FOR A SCENE OF PHYSICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE AS WELL AS EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWNS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m laughing so hard because there are so many people who want Hank to beat up Gavin in the comments and I love it

After that indecent, Gavin never tried to hit Connor while they were alone in Hank’s house. 

However, that didn’t mean he stopped hitting him when they were in his apartment. 

 

Two months. Connor had been hiding bruises and tears for two months. If he was close to breaking before, he was now completely shattered. The only thing keeping him from having a breakdown in the middle of the precinct every single day was the fear of what would happen if he did. 

It was kind of ironic that Gavin, while being what had destroyed Connor, was also keeping him together. Even if his methods involved ruling their relationship using fear and pain. 

“Hey Connor.” 

Connor practically jumped out of his seat at the sound of Gavin’s voice. Hank gave him a quizzical look from where he sat at his desk, right beside Connor’s. Connor finally looked up and met Gavin’s eyes. He prayed he would be able to keep the fear out of them. 

“Hello, Gavin,” Connor responded. The smirk on Gavin’s face widened.

Stress levels: 40%.

“Wanna come over to my place after work? Just the two of us.” Gavin finished his sentence with a wink. It implied enough to make everyone around them, including Hank, groan.

“Talk about that shit in private, I don’t wanna hear it!” Hank protested, hands over his eyes. Gavin just chuckled.

Most people would attribute Connor going pale and rigid to the embarrassment of having his coworkers hear Gavin say that. Gavin and Connor both knew better.

“Uhm, ok.” Connor finally managed to stammer. He knew better than to say no to Gavin. The bruise on his arm was enough of a reminder of what happened when he did. Gavin grinned and walked off, leaving Connor alone at his desk. He wished he could get back to work, but his mind kept on screaming at him.

YOU’RE IN DANGER YOU’RE IN DANGER HE WILL HURT YOU HE WILL HURT YOU

Connor didn’t bother trying to convince himself otherwise. It was undeniable at that point. 

…

Connor was right. 

As soon as Gavin had gotten Connor alone in his apartment, he let his happy facade drop. Connor swallowed shakily as Gavin turned on him with a glare so sharp it could split concrete in half. 

“You motherfucker,” Gavin snarled. Connor backed up as Gavin stepped forwards.

“I’m sorry,” Connor whispered, unsure of what he’d even done to upset the man.

“Save your bullshit, you fucking machine.” Gavin hissed again. The words stung more than Connor wanted to admit.

“W-what did I do?” Connor stammered.

Stress levels: 80%.

“You think you’re all high and mighty, don’t you? ADMIT IT!” Gavin screamed, ignoring Connor’s question.

“No! No, I don’t!” Connor frantically protested. Gavin was balling his fists up.

“Liar!” The impact if Gavin’s words were enunciated with a punch square on Connor’s eye. Connor screamed as he went down, hitting his head on the corner of Gavin’s coffee table. 

“You’re a bitch, a fucking bitch.” Gavin hissed, stalking towards Connor’s fallen form. Connor could already feel tears forming in his eyes as he shook. He didn’t dare speak. Gavin kneeled down beside him.

“But you’re my bitch,” he whispered threateningly. Gavin yanked Connor up to his feet by his hair and dragged him to the kitchen. Connor stammered out apologies and begged Gavin not to hurt him. Gavin’s steps didn’t even falter. 

Once they reached the kitchen, Gavin released Connor’s head. However, he did so by giving him a violent shove. Connor stumbled back, taking the opportunity to cradle his head and eye wounds. His forehead was dripping thirium and his eye was swelling up. This would be hard to hide.

However, that soon became the least of his concerns. Gavin grabbed a wine bottle from his fridge, completely full, and swung it at Connor. A scream ripped past Connor’s lips as it made contact with his skull and shattered into a million pieces, each one finding its way into Connor’s skin. Connor crumpled to the ground and cradled his head in his hands. That didn’t last long. Gavin reached down and grabbed one of Connor’s arms, yanking it up above his head and bending.

BENDING.

Connor screamed again as Gavin snapped his arm. Apparently he knew exactly where to apply pressure to break it. 

“Don’t you dare fucking scream. You can’t even feel pain. You can’t feel ANYTHING.” Gavin snarled. Connor didn’t respond, instead taking laboured breaths to try and help with the agony everywhere. Gavin was so wrong. Connor felt lots of pain.

“You bitch, I’m gonna kill you, I’m gonna-“

There was a sudden knock at the door. Gavin fell silent and slammed a hand over Connor’s mouth. 

“Hello? It’s the landlord. I’ve been receiving noise complaints. Please open the door.” 

“Shit,” Gavin hissed through his teeth. He turned his gaze from the door to Connor, quickly calling out “one minute!”

“Listen up, plastic. You need to be the fuck out of this apartment in ten seconds, or I’ll do much worse next time. Use the window and hurry the fuck up.” Gavin whispered darkly. Connor nodded, his eyes wide and his cheeks tear stained. Gavin moved his hand and Connor scrambled off the ground. He almost fell over, the pain he felt was dizzying. 

“Hurry!” Gavin hissed again, giving Connor a little shove. He stumbled and ran towards Gavin’s bedroom, he remembered a relatively large window in there. 

Connor forced the window open with his one functional arm. Luckily, Gavin only lived on the second floor of his complex. An android, especially Connor’s model, could survive the fall with minimal injuries. Connor wasted no time in jumping out. 

The fall ended up making Connor’s whole body hurt a lot more than expected. He had landed on his side and pushed the glass shards from the wine bottle deeper into his synthetic flesh. Connor couldn’t prevent a whimper from escaping his lips at that. 

Connor stumbled up. He had no idea where to go, where to hide, but he knew he had to go somewhere. Connor didn’t even bother to use his internal navigator, he just ran. 

…

Connor found himself in a dark alley miles away from where he’d been half an hour before. Connor’s internal clock had told him it was roughly 3:00 am, which was alarming. Criminals usually roamed the streets at times like that. Connor had needed to find shelter, which was why he had tucked into the alley. However, anyone who cared to look would still be able to see him, and Connor was in no position to fight anyone. Connor scanned the alley. 

Possible hiding places: 2

Option one: underneath abandoned newspaper stack.   
Probability of being discovered: 80%.

Option two: inside dumpster.  
Probability of being discovered: 30%.

The dumpster, while unappealing, was the one Connor chose. He crawled into it, falling on a pile of garbage. The dumpster was only half-full, so at least Connor had a decent amount of space. He closed the lid over his head and curled into a ball, making himself as small as possible. Connor clutched his arm close to his chest. He didn’t dare run a diagnostic, he knew what he’d find. 

It only took a couple minutes for Connor to start shivering. The wine that had covered him when Gavin hit him with the bottle had soaked through his shirt and pants. He was freezing. 

That was when everything hit him.

All the emotions that he had pent up over the past two months came to the surface, all the pain he’d been put through, all the things he’d repressed. Everything that had happened just half an hour ago. It was so much.

Too much.

Connor was no longer shaking from just the cold. It was now so, so much more. Connor let sobs tear through his body and escape his lips. He was alone, he didn’t have to stop them. Nobody was here to see him. 

Connor felt awful.

He hadn’t given it much thought until then, but he really did. He was so emotionally and physically damaged, it was unbearable. Connor trembled and took hitched, shallow breaths. It was too much. He couldn’t deal with it all. Not anymore. 

Oh god, he couldn’t stop crying. 

Connor’s LED lit the whole dumpster red as Gavin’s words echoed in his head. Every single thing he had ever said came rushing back.

“I just thought you should know I’ve turned a new leaf. I don’t hate ya anymore. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.”

“I gave you everything, Connor. More than an android like you EVER deserved. I treated you like a person. I thought that maybe, maybe you could love me the way I loved you. But you can’t feel love, can you?”

“Make me breakfast, dipshit.”

“I could shoot you. I could end it right now. I bet you wouldn’t even care, you fucking machine.”

“I gave you a fucking order. Now OBEY.”

“You bitch, I’m gonna kill you, I’m gonna-“

Connor’s quiet sobs grew louder. He had been hurt so, so much. He didn’t think he would ever be the same android that he was two months ago ever again.

That android was dead, all that was left was a broken shell.

Connor had grown hysterical. It was too much to handle. He couldn’t take it, he couldn’t he couldn’t he couldn’t-

“I swear to ra9, we’re not gonna get there in time to see the sunrise if you keep dawdling.” 

Connor’s breath hitched. Someone was there.

“It’s not my fault I wanna enjoy this night as much as possible!”

Connor slammed a hand over his mouth. He couldn’t make a sound, they would hear, they would kill him, they would-

A single, treacherous sob escaped Connor’s lips.

Damn.

The footsteps passing halted. Oh god, they had heard they had heard they had-

“Did you hear that?”

They had heard. 

Stress levels: 90%.

“I think it came from there.” Connor could assume the android was pointing to his dumpster. They were walking closer. Connor was going to die. 

The lid cracked open and Connor’s good arm flew up to cover his tearstreaked face. Too bad the androids were able to recognize him anyway. Connor was shocked to see Markus and Simon staring at him with wide eyes.

“Connor?”


	8. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor’s been discovered. 
> 
> TW FOR PANIC ATTACKS, SELF-DEPRICATION, AND MILD FLASHBACKS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating yesterday! My brother just had surgery and I had to take care of him. 
> 
> Also, I won’t be posting for two days because ill be over at a friend’s house. Sorry about that!

“Connor?” 

Connor flinched away from the voice, slamming his back against the dumpster wall. Markus and Simon were here and they were looking at him and he was in danger and Gavin would kill him if he found out-

“Connor, your stress levels...” Simon whispered. His eyes were wide in shock. Connor opened his mouth to say something, ANYTHING, but he couldn’t form words. Instead he gave a breathy sob and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“What happened?” Simon murmured. Connor shook his head violently. He didn’t want to talk about it and they couldn’t know. 

“Can you walk?” Markus asked after a short pause. Connor wanted to answer, but he honestly didn’t know. He wasn’t sure what he could and couldn’t do after everything that had happened over the past few hours. Markus seemed to sense his predicament.

“Is it okay if we touch you?” He asked, backtracking. Connor didn’t want to be touched. He didn’t want anyone to be near him, but he would die if he stayed here. After a pause that was far too long, Connor nodded. 

Simon and Markus exchanged a quick look before slowly reaching their arms into the dumpster. Connor resisted the urge to flinch away as Simon’s hand made contact with his arm. He let the two pull him out of the dumpster. He was sure he wasn’t helping at all, but he was so weak and he didn’t know if he could.

“Can you stand alright?” Simon asked softly. Connor nodded. Simon and Markus released his arms and Connor’s knees instantly buckled. He felt Simon and Markus catch him as he fell and pull him back up. 

“..I’m going to carry you to New Jericho. Is that okay?” Markus asked. Connor, who still hadn’t said a word, nodded shakily. 

Simon helped move Connor into Markus’ arms, being as gentle as possible. Connor appreciated it. His wounds still stung and his broken arm hung limply at his side. Simon’s eyes darted to the fracture and widened, but he said nothing. Not yet, at least. 

Markus started off with a steady walk (so he didn’t jostle Connor), but soon began jogging as he noticed how much thirium Connor was losing. He would die if they didn’t hurry. 

Connor didn’t say a single thing as they made their way to New Jericho. He barely made any noise at all, only the occasional whimper. Even those he managed to keep down for the most part. Connor didn’t want Markus and Simon to know how much pain he was in. He expected himself to go into forced stasis at any second, but he didn’t say anything. 

At 4:36 AM, five minutes from Jericho, Connor could no longer stay awake and fell unconscious. The last thing he remembered hearing was Markus’ distressed voice shouting his name. 

…

“I’m gonna kill you. You’re worthless, you fucking plastic bitch.”

“Please don’t, please please! I promise I’ll be good, I won’t tell!”

Cold metal against his temple. A gunshot. Pain.

…

Connor woke up to pain. He gasped and flung his functioning arm around, trying to get Gavin away from him. He had been shot, he was dead he was dead he was dead-

“Connor? Connor, it’s okay! It’s just us.” 

...that wasn’t Gavin. Connor’s vision came into focus and he recognized Simon and Markus in front of him. They were sitting on chairs. Connor registered several things at once.

1\. He had been screaming.  
2\. They were in New Jericho.  
3\. Connor was in a hospital bed.

“...Are you okay?” Simon asked softly. Connor hesitated. He wasn’t. He really, really wasn’t and he knew that. He should lie. Gavin would be upset if he didn’t lie.

Connor tried to force a smile on his face, but it fell flat. Simon and Markus could both tell he was lying. Damn.

“I’ve called Hank, he’s on his way over.” Markus announced. “I’ll call Gavin as well-“

“NO!” Connor blurted. He quickly slammed a hand over his mouth and curled in on himself. 

“N-never mind. It’s fine.” Connor whispered shakily as he tried to backpedal. It was too late.

“I’ll just leave him alone,” Markus murmured softly. Both he and Simon looked shocked and confused. The confusion was good. That meant they hadn’t fingered it out after Connor’s mistake. His slip up.

God, he was SUCH and idiot and a bitch and he deserved to die and-

“Connor? You still with us?” Simon asked. Connor nodded roughly. 

“Do you want some thirium?” Markus whispered, holding out a blue packet to Connor. Connor took it with a shaking hand. He drank it all quickly and Markus handed him more. He had a lot of lost thirium to make up for. 

After Connor finished, there was a long pause.

“...do you wanna talk about what happened?” Simon asked carefully. Connor froze up. He didn’t, he couldn’t, he would die if he did. 

“No,” Connor whispered. 

Another pause. 

Footsteps outside. Connor froze again.

Stress levels: 80%.

Why did footsteps make him panic so much? He was so WEAK and USELESS. Connor could practically hear Gavin saying the words to him. 

“I think Hank is here,” Markus whispered. Just as he finished his sentence, the door flew open. Connor flinched violently away to the point where he almost fell off the bed. He was sure he would have if Simon hadn’t caught him. 

Just as Markus had said, Hank had arrived. 

“What happened? Is he awake?!” Hank asked loudly. Connor flinched again, this time from the noise. Loud things always scared him. 

Stress levels: 85%.

“You might want to quiet down, I think you’re scaring Connor.” Simon whispered. Hank’s face immediately softened as his eyes darted over to Connor’s bed. Connor looked anywhere but his face. He was embarrassed. If only he wasn’t so weak all the time, if only he was better, if only if only if only-

“Connor? Your stress levels are rising again!” 

Connor could barely hear the end of Markus’ sentence because suddenly everything was gone and all he could hear was Gavin and all he could see was Gavin and EVERYTHING was GAVIN and he couldn’t get away and Gavin was touching his arm and breaking it and hitting him and-

Hugging him? 

Gavin never did that.

Connor faded back into reality only to find Hank had his arms wrapped around him. Connor felt warm tears trailing down his artificial cheeks. His hands were shaking. So was everything else. But he felt warm for the first time in what seemed like forever. He could almost believe everything was okay. 

Stress levels: 60%. 

“It’s okay, son. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.” Hank whispered gently, rubbing soothing circles on Connor’s back. 

Stress levels: 50%.

Hank didn’t let Connor go for a long time. He just whispered calming words in a soft voice and waited for Connor to calm down. Connor was thankful.

Stress levels: 15%. 

That was the lowest they had been for months. 

“You okay, son?” Hank asked. Connor nodded. Hank slowly let go of Connor, but kept his hands on his shoulders.

“...do you wanna talk?” Hank asked cautiously. Connor’s eyes widened and his LED flickered red. He did, he realized. He wanted someone to know what he was going through. He wanted someone to help him. 

But he couldn’t have that because Gavin would kill him.

“I can’t,” Connor whispered. A confused look crossed Hank’s, Simon’s, and Markus’ face. 

“He didn’t ask if you could, he asked if you wanted to.” Markus said quietly. Connor hesitated at that.

“Why can’t you talk?” Hank asked, backtracking slightly. Connor paused again.

“I can’t,” Connor began, shaking his head. “I can’t because...” his eyes darted all over his body, landing in every bruise and cut he had. The glass from earlier was still in his arm. 

“...because you’ll get hurt again?” Hank finished. Connor snapped his eyes up and quickly pulled the blanket on the bed tighter around him. Hank was a lieutenant, of course he’d see where Connor was looking.

Suddenly, Markus gasped. Connor looked over to him only to find an expression Connor had never wanted to see. 

Realization.

“Hank, Simon, may I talk to you two outside for a moment?” Markus whispered. Hank and Simon both nodded. They had seen Markus’ expression too, hadn’t they? Oh god, they were all going to know. Connor was going to die. 

“You’ll be okay for a little bit, right Connor?” Hank asked. Connor nodded numbly.

So this was it.

This was the end. 

He couldn’t hide anymore.

Connor adjusted his ears to hear the conversation outside.

“Hank, Simon....”

“Yeah?”

“I think Connor is a victim of domestic abuse.”


	9. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor finally comes clean.
> 
> TW FOR PANIC ATTACKS, FLASHBACKS, AND MILD DESCRIPTION OF INJURIES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I’m back! Updates might be off-schedule for a bit, sorry about that. I’ll try to maintain my daily chapter schedule the best I can!

“I think Connor is a victim of domestic abuse.”

As soon as the words reached Connor’s ears, he was standing. Pain shot through his body at the sudden movement but he didn’t care because he had to leave before Gavin found out someone knew and he had to hide and stay alive and-

Connor’s eyes locked on a closed window. Even though the thought of escaping through windows made him feel weirdly sick, he had to do it. Connor stumbled towards the window and tried to pry it open with shaking fingers. He desperately scraped at the lock, unable to do much in his state. His vision became clouded with synthetic tears. He couldn’t do it he couldn’t do it he couldn’t he couldn’t because he was USELESS and WORTHLESS and Gavin was right about EVERYTHING and-

Suddenly Connor felt hands land on his shoulders and try to pull him away from the window. 

It was the last straw.

Connor let out a scream and jerked away from the person trying to pull him back. Gavin was going to pull him into the kitchen and hit him with a bottle and he was going to have a broken arm and everything was going to hurt and he was going to DIE.

Connor whipped around to face Gavin, but fell over and hit his head on what must have been the coffee table. Gavin was approaching him with fists balled up and cold eyes.

“You’re a worthless piece of fucking plastic who doesn’t deserve love.”

“I know I am, I know I’m worthless, I’m sorry I’m sorry please don’t hurt me I won’t do it again please PLEASE-“ Connor’s voice broke off and he curled up into a small tight ball to prepare for the barrage of kicks that were going to come. 

Instead, he felt a hand rubbing slow circles on his back. Connor took a hitched breath at the contact before breaking off into sobs again. He could still hear Gavin, but his voice was growing distant as others faded in.

“...stress levels lowering.”

“It’s okay, son. Nobody’s gonna hurt you.” 

Connor latched onto the words of the last voice and tried to focus on their repetition. He was okay, he was okay, he was okay.

He had to be okay.

Connor eventually came back into reality, shaking on the floor. He felt thirium dripping down his forehead, which brought another burst of panic, but was reassured when he heard someone say “It’s okay, you just banged your head on the bed.”

Connor was pretty sure that someone was Markus. 

Connor finally gathered up the courage to open his eyes, which he hadn’t even realized had been closed.

Markus and Simon kneeled in front of him, and Connor could assume Hank was behind him and still rubbing his back. They all waited patiently and whispered soothing words as Connor’s stress levels slowly lowered. He eventually came out of his tight ball and relaxed his muscles, although he was still shaking. 

“Do you wanna take a nap while we repair the rest of your body? Your arm is still broken.” Simon asked softly. Of course, androids didn’t really take naps, but it was easier to call them such. Connor nodded after a moments hesitation. He suddenly felt very, very tired. 

“If I fall asleep, will you promise not to leave me?” Connor whispered shakily. 

“Promise,” everyone said at once. Connor smiled through his remaining tears and let himself slip into stasis. 

…

Connor awoke with a small jolt before immediately being soothed with “It’s okay, you’re safe. We’re at New Jericho.”

Connor swallowed and turned his head to face the voice. Hank was here. He turned again. So were Markus and Simon. Connor smiled weakly.

They had stayed.

“Thank you,” He mumbled. “For everything.”

“That’s what friends are for, Connor.” Simon responded. Connor smiled a little again.

“Yes, I suppose so.” He murmured. 

A pause.

“I’m sorry for burdening you,” Connor whispered to the group, his eyes locked on the ceiling. He could feel them welling up with tears again. 

“Burdening us? Connor, you’re not a fucking burden.” Hank said, a trace of anger and sympathy wrapped in his tone.

“...but I ruined everybody’s night,” Connor protested. Hank shook his head.

“No. Gavin ruined everybody’s night. This is his fucking fault.” He said. Connor’s LED flashed red at the mention of Gavin. Connor ran through several responses in his head before deciding to play dumb.

“...what does Gavin have to do with this?” Connor asked. He mentally cursed himself for having a tremor in his voice. There was a moment of silence.

“Connor, you went to Gavin’s last night and then fucking turned up bleeding in a dumpster. You expect us to believe that he had NOTHING to do with it?” Hank said. Connor noticed the way his voice broke a little at “bleeding in a dumpster”. Hank had truly been scared for him. Connor looked away.

“...has Gavin been abusing you?” Markus asked quietly. Connor’s LED flashed red again. 

“N-no! I’m fine, everything’s fine, I just fell out of a window.” Connor said quickly, sitting up. 

“Connor, please don’t lie.” Simon whispered softly. Connor tensed. That was all he had ever done. Lie. He frantically wiped away tears that threatened to fall.

“I’m sorry,” Connor muttered. 

“Don’t be, you haven’t done anything.” Markus said again.

“Yes I have! Can’t you tell I’m a terrible piece of plastic?! All I’ve ever done is hurt people! That’s why I deserve this! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?!” Connor’s voice turned into a choked yell at the end. He covered his eyes with his hands and pulled his knees to his chest. He was definitely crying now. 

“...who told you that?” Hank asked. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Connor responded weakly.

“Yes it fucking does, Connor! Because it’s bullshit!” Hank said angrily. Connor raised his head.

“I-it’s what?” He whispered.

“Bullshit.”

“You’re not terrible or anything you just said you are,” Markus said, cutting in. Connor shook his head weakly.

“But- but- I hurt him and-“ Connor stuttered. He had tried to break up with Gavin. He had hurt him. That made him terrible, didn’t it? 

“Who’s “him”?” Simon asked. 

“Gavin,” Connor said before slapping a hand over his mouth. Damn.

“What happened between you two that hurt him?” Markus questioned. Connor swallowed.

“...will you tell Gavin what I tell you?” Connor asked shakily. 

“No. Never.” Everyone replied. Connor swallowed again.

“I wanted to break up with Gavin because... because I didn’t feel very strongly for him anymore.” Connor paused. He was shaking again. “It hurt his feelings.” Connor finished with a whisper. He could practically see Hank’s heart breaking. It made him feel guilty. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“What did he do?” Hank asked. His tone was very low and serious. Connor swallowed.

“He just wanted to show me how hurt he was-“

“What did he do!?” Hank repeated. 

“...He hit me,” Connor mumbled after an extremely long pause. “But it’s okay.”

“No. It’s. Not.” Hank hissed. Connor flinched a little, causing Hank’s gaze to soften. 

“I’m not mad at you, son.” He reassured. “But Gavin’s gonna have a fuckin’ bullet in his leg tomorrow.” He muttered under his breath. Connor wasn’t sure how to respond.

“How long ago was that?” Markus asked in the silence. 

“Um, two months and fourteen days.” Connor responded. 

“Two months?!” Hank said, eyes wide and angry. Connor nodded uncomfortably. He looked everywhere but Hank’s face.

“That motherfucker I swear...” Hank muttered, running a hand through his hair. “He kept... hurting you after that, didn’t he?” 

“...y-yes.” Connor said quietly. 

“So every fucking time you got injured “accidentally” or “hurt by anti android protestors” it was Reed?” Hank continued. Connor nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hank asked. His voice softened slightly. 

“Because...” Connor struggled to get the words out without crying again. “Because he said he’d- he’d-“ Connor let out a choked gasp.

“...take your time,” Simon whispered softly.

“I did try to tell you,” Connor said, backtracking. “At work, once. But then-“ he cut off again. Connor could practically feel the cold metal of Gavin’s gun on his back. He swallowed shakily.

“Gavin heard and-“ Connor couldn’t stop trembling. “He took me outside and-“ 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.” Markus reassured him. Connor shook his head.

“I- I think I want to talk about it now,” he muttered. “I need you to understand.”

“...Okay, go on.” Markus said. Connor swallowed and took a deep breath before continuing.

“He led me to an alley where he... physically assaulted me. I couldn’t move.” Connor whispered the last sentence. His LED was a solid red.

“He took out his gun and he-“ Connor broke off again. He felt Hank gently rub his back in a soothing motion. It helped.

“He threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone. So I didn’t.” Connor sniffled. “I don’t want to die.” 

“You won’t, kid. I promise, we’ll keep you safe.” Hank reassured him. It made Connor feel a million times better, just hearing those words.

“Thank you,” He whispered. 

“How many times has Gavin hit you?” Markus asked.

“Twenty eight separate occasions,” Connor responded. He felt Hank tense.

“What’s the worst he’s done?” Hank questioned. His voice had gotten low and serious again.

“Um.. the worst injuries I’ve received are the broken arm from today... severe head trauma, bruising around my neck and stomach tissue...” Connor paused. “And a fracture in my skull from an occasion where I was hit with a chair.”

“A fucking chair!?” Hank said angrily. Connor nodded.

“It’s healed now,” he muttered quietly. 

“Good,” Hank paused. “...you okay, son?”

“I’m fully functional, thanks to the generosity of New Jericho.” Connor responded.

“That’s not what I meant,” Hank said. Connor hesitated at that. He could feel tear pricking at the edges of his eyes. 

“N-no,” he whispered. “I’m scared.” Connor felt his cheeks dampening. 

“Oh, Connor...” Hank muttered sadly, leaning in to wrap the trembling android in a tight hug.

“You’re so brave, you know that? I promise, things’ll get better soon.” Hank reassured him. Connor just sobbed into Hank’s shoulder as he finally let all of his feelings out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You better believe Hank is gonna beat Gavin’s ass


	10. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank and Connor have a conversation back at home.
> 
> TW FOR PANIC AND MENTIONS OF ABUSE 
> 
> (Can you tell I’m terrible at summaries? Because I am.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the time I’m writing this, this story is almost at 200 kudos?? H o w ? ?  
> Thank you all so much!!

Connor went back home with Hank later that day. The car ride had been oddly quiet, but it wasn’t tense. It was definitely more of a respectful silence. Connor could tell Hank had a lot he wanted to ask, but didn’t for Connor’s sake. It made him happy that Hank cared, but at the same time it made him feel...

Weak? He couldn’t quite figure out his emotions right now. 

Now Connor sat on Hank’s couch with his hands folded in his lap. He stared at them as his LED flickered rapidly. Hank was in the kitchen quickly grabbing some food to eat for the evening, and being alone made him strangely nervous. 

Connor knew it was irrational. Gavin couldn’t get to him in here, and he wasn’t even truly alone. Hank was only in the next room, everything was fine.

And yet Connor couldn’t shake the feeling he wasn’t safe. 

Hank walked back in with some leftover Chinese food in a bowl. Connor’s stress levels dropped by ten percent. Hank plopped down beside Connor on the couch and glanced at his LED. It had stopped flickering and now sat at a steady yellow. 

“You okay? Yellow means you’re nervous or something, right?” Hank asked. Connor frowned and dragged his eyes away from his hands.

“It’s just irrational concerns, Hank. Nothing to worry about.” Connor reassured him. Hank squinted.

“Irrational my ass. None of what you feel is “irrational”, got it? It’s fucking valid.” Hank said before shovelling noodles into his mouth. Connor paused for a moment to consider his words.

“Thank you,” He finally said. 

“Now do you wanna keep watching the movie or not?” Hank asked. Connor flicked his eyes towards the paused tv. They had been watching Finding Nemo, Connor remembered. He nodded.

“Tv unpause,” Hank commanded. The movie started up again and the two lapsed into a comfortable silence. 

…

Almost exactly twenty seven minutes later, a bing sounded inside Connor’s ears. Hank startled back as Connor gave a sudden jolt of surprise at the noise. Of course, Hank couldn’t hear it. It was the bing of a text message. Connor didn’t carry a phone, as he had the features built in, so he got texts straight to his brain.

“Sorry, just a text message...” Connor mumbled. It was nothing. 

Connor opened it. It wasn’t nothing.

Connor froze as he realized who had texted him. If it could have, he was sure his thirium would have ran cold. Hank noticed the fearful expression on Connor’s face and tried to reassure him, but Connor could barely hear his words. 

His ears rang as he read Gavin’s message over and over.

“Wanna come over?”

“..onnor! What’s wrong?!” Hank. Connor blinked and snapped out of his dazed state.

Stress levels: 80%. 

They had shot up like a rocket.

“Hank, Gavin wants me to come over. What do I do? I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t-“ Connor’s voice got stuck in a loop, something Hank called excessive stuttering. Connor hated it.

“Shh.. it’s okay. You don’t have to go.” Hank reassured, wrapping Connor in a hug.

But that wasn’t right.

He wasn’t allowed to say no to Gavin.

“But I can’t say no because-“ Connor broke off. He didn’t want to say it. Luckily, Hank could fill in the blanks.

“He’ll hurt you?” Hank said. Connor nodded against his shoulder.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, the bastard...” Hank muttered. Suddenly, Connor felt Hank tense.

“Wait, you’re not allowed to say no to ANYTHING?” Hank asked. His voice had gotten a nervous edge.

“N-no,” Connor confirmed. Hank pulled out of the hug, but kept his hands on Connor’s shoulders.

“Has he ever...” Hank paused. “..made you.. do things...” 

After a moment, the implication clicked in Connor’s head. 

“N-n-no! Not like that. I haven’t been...” Connor trailed off too. He hated thinking about that... possibility. 

“Good,” Hank heaved a sigh of relief. 

A pause.

“What am I supposed to say in response? I cannot refuse.” Connor asked. His voice broke a little at the end and he felt his eyes water. 

“Uh... fuck, Connor, I dunno. Does he know you’ve seen it?” Hank asked. Connor nodded. He had opened the message, therefore allowing Gavin to see he’d read it.

“Shit,” Hank hissed. “Just...don’t respond. I’ll call him and say you’re asleep.”

“But he knows I-“ 

“It’s the best I’ve got.” Hank sighed. “Don’t worry, I won’t let him get you.”

Stress levels: 40%.

“...thank you, Hank.” Connor whispered. 

Maybe telling people hadn’t been such a mistake after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda short sorry


	11. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor tells Hank he’s okay with going in it work. He’s lying.
> 
> TW FOR PANIC ATTACKS, SELF HARM, AND VIOLENCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. This is finally the chapter I got to write Gavin getting his ass handed to him.
> 
> It was so much fun.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna stay home?” 

“Yes. I assure you, I’ll be fine at work.”

Connor was lying. He didn’t want to go to work and be faced with Gavin. He didn’t think he would be fine. 

But he couldn’t stay home because that would make Gavin even more mad. 

So he went. 

The second Connor walked into the office beside Hank, his hands started trembling. Gavin was looking at him. He had noticed him already and was angry and was going to hurt him and-

“You okay?” Hank asked, putting a hand on Connor’s shoulder. Connor nodded quickly. He was okay he was okay he was okay today would be fine today would be fine he HAD TO KEEP TELLING HIMSELF THAT.

stress levels: 50%.

It was hard to focus on work. Connor could feel Gavin staring at him and just the knowledge that he was there was putting a huge weight in his chest. 

It made it hard to breathe. 

Of course, Connor didn’t need to breathe, but he still felt as if he was suffocating. 

Stress levels: 70%.

“I’ll be right back,” Connor said shakily, standing up from his desk much too fast.

“Woah, Connor, what’s wrong?” Hank asked. 

“Nothing, I’m fine.” Connor said before running to the bathrooms. He felt as if he was going to vomit any moment from stress alone. 

Connor let his shaky legs carry him away. He looked like a mess, trembling all over and running through the precinct. 

But he had to get away.

He couldn’t take it anymore. 

He was almost to the bathroom. Almost there. Almost almost almost-

Connor wasn’t aware of the footsteps following him until someone grabbed his wrist.

Stress levels: 90%.

Connor tried to jerk his wrist away because he knew that touch AND IT WAS GAVIN AND HE WAS GOING TO HURT HIM AND KILL HIM AND DO HORRIBLE THINGS TO HIM.

The person turned Connor around to face them.

Grey eyes

Brown hair

A scar on their nose

Gavin.

“Woah, babe, what’s wrong?” Gavin asked with fake concern. Connor knew it was fake because he could still see the malice in Gavin’s eyes and the way he sized him up for bruises and places it would hurt him to punch and kick and cut and-

Gavin leaned in to whisper in Connor’s ear.

“You didn’t come over.”

So much malice.

So much venom.

So much cruelty.

Stress levels: 97%.

Connor made a pained noise in the back of his throat. He was shaking and he was going to cry in front of everybody and that would only make Gavin even more mad and and and and-

And Gavin was yanked away. 

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM, YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

Hank.

Gavin was thrown to the ground, screeching wildly. Hank winded his leg back and hit Gavin with the most powerful and hate-filled kick Connor had ever seen. 

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Hank yelled, grabbing a Coffee mug from someone’s desk and smashing it over Gavin’s head as he tried to stand up. He crumpled to the ground. 

“HOW DOES IT FUCKIN’ FEEL, HUH?” Hank continued. “FIGURED YOU SHOULD KNOW AFTER DOING IT TO SOMEONE ELSE TWENTY-EIGHT FUCKIN’ TIMES!” A look or realization, hatred fear, and finally anger flashed across Gavin’s face.

“HE DOESN’T EVEN FEEL PAIN, HE’S JUST A FUCKING ANDROID!” Gavin screamed back as Hank prepared to punch him. 

The whole precinct fell silent. 

Connor could hear his synthetic blood pounding in his ears. He could feel his chest rapidly moving with the strength of his intense hyperventilation. He could see Gavin and Hank and the rest of the precinct but only barely because suddenly his vision was cloudy with tears and everything was too much to handle and he was falling to his knees and shaking and crying and everyone could see and-

Stress levels: 100%.

He clawed at his arms and wrists and face and eyes and drew blood and let it drip down his body onto the floor because the only way he could escape was to DIE and he wanted to ESCAPE more than ANYTHING.

Connor felt people grab at his arms and pull them away from his body. They were trying to prevent him from escaping but he WANTED to ESCAPE COULDN’T THEY SEE THAT WHY WOULDN’T THEY LET HIM 

“Connor! Focus on my voice, okay?” 

Who was that? Connor couldn’t tell because everything was so confusing right now and everything hurt and it was too MUCH

“Take a deep breath.”

Connor tried to inhale deeply, but the air kept getting caught and he couldn’t do it he couldn’t he couldn’t-

“It’s okay, just keep trying. Relax your muscles, nobody’s gonna hurt you.”

Connor let some of the tension out of his arms and stopped struggling against the people holding him. He wasn’t going to be hurt. That was good.

Stress levels: 95%. 

Connor tried to take a deep breath again. He succeeded once, even though it was shaky and choked. 

“Good job! Can you do another one for me?”

Connor took another deep breath. It was easier that time.

Stress levels: 80%.

“Keep on going, follow my rhythm. In... out... in... out...”

Connor tried to follow along with the breaths of the person. It slowly got easier.

Stress levels: 70%.

He let the tension out of his muscles. 

Stress levels: 60%.

The weight on his chest was vanishing.

Stress levels: 50%.

He could breathe normally again.

Stress levels: 40%.

His vision was back.

Stress levels: 30%.

He could identify the people helping him. They were loosening their hold on him and letting him go.

Stress levels: 20%.

Markus was in front of him, helping him breathe. When did he get here?

Stress levels: 10%.

Connor could finally speak past the lump in his throat.

“S-sorry for creating a disturbance,” Connor muttered. The whole office was looking at him. It wasn’t pleasant. 

“It’s fine, son. Don’t worry about it,” Hank said. He and Markus helped Connor to his feet. Connor looked around.

Gavin was nowhere to be seen. 

It wasn’t just Markus here, the entire Jericho team was present. 

There was a splash of red blood on the floor where Gavin had previously been. 

There was also Connor’s blood on the floor. 

Connor looked at his wrists. They had fierce scratches running down them that still leaked thirium. Thankfully, he hadn’t done major damage. 

“Where did you come from?” Connor finally asked Markus. “And why are you here?”

“The Jericho team and I wanted to come check on you at work and bring Hank coffee.” Markus explained. “We came in to see Hank kicking Gavin senseless.”

“He had it coming,” Hank muttered.

“What happened to the coffee?” Connor questioned.

“...it may or may not have ended up on Gavin.” Markus said, a smile on his face. Connor couldn’t help smiling a little as well.

“What about the blood?”

“Hank shot Gavin.”

“Hank! You could be fired!” Connor said, firing a look towards Hank. However, he couldn’t help the warm feeling in his chest at knowing Hank had protected him like that. 

“Relax, it was just his leg. Although god knows how much I wanted to blow the fucker’s brains out.” Hank said. Connor smiled a little again. 

“But I guess we’ll have to settle for prison. He basically confessed.” Markus explained. Connor felt a massive weight lift off his chest.

“He’s going to prison?” Connor asked.

“You still have the memories of his shit, right?” Hank asked. 

“Yes,” Connor whispered, looking down. He suddenly felt uncomfortable. “Can we go home?” Hank nodded.

Hank, Connor, Markus, and the Jericho team left without a single person trying to stop them.

For the first time in two months and fifteen days, Connor felt free.


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years have passed and Connor is doing better.

Two years later...

 

Connor was happy. Not just a normal kind of happy either, he was overjoyed. 

Why? Because he had gone a full month without having nightmares. 

The nightmares, or “highly detailed memory recalls during stasis”, as Connor called them, had almost always been about Gavin. The punches he’d thrown, the words he’d said, all of it.

Connor had none other than his friends to thank for his recovery. They had been phenomenal and supportive while Connor struggled with the lasting effects of his abuse. 

Connor had found acceptance in Markus. He had helped him come to terms with what had happened and realize he wasn’t to blame.

Simon had been there whenever Connor had to talk or vent out his feelings, and always tried to understand them.

Josh had been something of a therapist to Connor. He offered tips and tricks about how to make his feelings easier to manage. 

North had been an unexpected ally, since they were never very close before, but she was extremely helpful nonetheless. She had helped Connor understand his “irrational” fears of things that related to Gavin. Things like wine bottles, alleys, and dumpsters. These fears had been one of the things that bothered him the most during recovery, so understanding them was very important.

Hank.

Hank was the one who had taken care of Connor when he couldn’t take care of himself. When he was shaking and screaming and afraid, Hank was the one to calm him down and make things okay again. Hank was the one to wrap him in a blanket and sit next to him when he wasn’t feeling okay. Hank was the one who had lended the biggest hand in pulling Connor out of the hole Gavin had pushed him into. 

So yes, Connor was happy. 

He had every right to be, and nobody was going to take that away from him ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this has been an adventure! As my first multi-chapter fic on this site, I didn’t expect this story to get so popular! Thank you all for reading, I appreciate it so, so much. <3


End file.
